No matter your situation, moving is always stressful. But when you’re contemplating leaving your home for an assisted living facility, stress is just the tip of the emotional iceberg. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one, but grief is a natural response to any loss. And the loss of your home, neighborhood, and community is a big one.

The thought of leaving everything you know can make you feel very vulnerable. You may feel like you’re losing your independence or a big part of your identity. It’s important to realize that all of these feelings are normal. Take some time to acknowledge these feelings of loss. Sometimes talking to someone who is sympathetic can help. Counseling and therapy can be an option too. Give yourself time to grieve and get used to the change.

Tips for making the transition to assisted living easier

Life in an assisted living facility is an undeniable adjustment. In addition to a new living environment, you are meeting new residents and getting used to the staff. This can feel stressful in the beginning. But there are things you can do to make the transition easier.

Pack well in advance of the move. 

Don’t add to the stress of the actual move by putting yourself in a position where you’ll need to make hasty decisions about what to take and what to discard.

Know what to expect. Do your homework on the facility. It will be less stressful if you know what to expect. Read all the materials before you move in and make sure all of your questions are answered ahead of time.

Stay busy. You may be tempted to stay in your apartment or living space, but you’ll feel comfortable much quicker if you get out there to meet the residents, participate in activities, and explore the facility.

Go easy on yourself. Everyone adjusts to change differently, so give yourself a break, no matter what you’re feeling. However, if you feel like you’re taking longer than you think you should to adjust, it may help to talk to your family members, the director of the facility, or a trusted friend.

Choosing the right assisted living facility for you

There is a huge variation among assisted living facilities. While this can make the process of choosing seem daunting, the plus side is that you have a good chance of finding a facility that is perfectly suited to your preferences and needs.

As you start your search, try not to get overwhelmed by all the options. Remember, amenities matter much less than the residents and staff. It’s the people that truly make any place, including an assisted living facility. You can tell a lot about a facility by the people who live and work there. You want a facility with an active social atmosphere—where the residents are friendly and the staff is caring and warm. Make sure that, overall, you feel the facility is a place where you will fit in and develop new relationships.

Ask about staffing patterns

To feel confident that you or your loved one will be well taken care of, it’s important to ask questions about the staffing levels and workload at an assisted living facility. For example, how many staff members are actually involved in residents’ care? How many people are working at any one time? What are their duties during those times—do they have time to interact with residents? Are there registered nurses on site? How do staffing patterns differ at night? What happens when a staff member is sick or otherwise unable to be at work—is there enough cover?